We all know retirement isn’t what it used to be, but did you know your retirement could be exactly what you choose it to be?
I’ll explain the 3 Easy Steps you can follow to make your retirement the best time of your life!
This isn’t your dad’s retirement
The days of ‘30 years, a gold watch, and off to watch TV or play golf’ are gone.
Today we have many options.
- Starting a business
- Learning guitar
- Caring for aging relatives
- Working thru that list of to-do’s that stretches to infinity
- Finally lowering that handicap
- Traveling the world
Needless to say, we have many options to choose from.
Eventually, though, after exhausting your options, you stop and say:
Is this all there is?
This often happens when we knowingly or not, confront what Ken Dychtwald calls in his book ‘What Retirees Want’ the time affluence explosion. We simply have a LOT more time on our hands and it is up to us to fill it.
We are now responsible for how we spend our time and our focus. It’s our choice.
But you say, “wait a minute – I’ve always been responsible for my time!”
Yes…but.
Your job provided a lot of structure and drove a lot of your decisions.
- When you got up
- What clothes you wore
- The people you interacted with
- What projects you focused on
In your post-corporate or retired life, that’s mostly up to you. ‘Mostly’ because you still have people in your life that may impact some of those decisions, but for the most part, those decisions are up to you.
Time Out – What Do We Call This ‘Thing’
The word retirement is the epitome of “everyone uses it, but no one knows what it means”. I’ve seen all sorts of words and phrases to refer to retirement:
- Second Act
- Third Stage
- Life’s Third Age
- Post-Corporate Life
- Finally – Hallelujah!
- Freedom Zone
- etc…you get the picture
I’ll use the words ‘retirement’ and ‘post-corporate’ interchangeably and refer to that period of life where we have left (willingly or not) our primary career to pursue another course of action. Be it the ‘traditional’ view of retirement as a life of leisure, or new full- or part-time employment, self-employment, or some sort of hybrid.
Regardless of what we call it, it’s a big deal. In fact…
Retirement is more than a change, it’s a transition
In his book “Transitions – Making Sense of Life’s Changes”, Dr. William Bridges explains the difference between change and transition:
“Change is your move to a new city or your shift to a new job. It is the birth of your new baby or the death of your father…In other words, change is situational.Transition, on the other hand, is psychological. It is not those events but rather the inner reorientation and self-redefinition that you have to go through in order to incorporate any of those changes in your life.”
Transitions – William Bridges, PhD
As we focus on how to make the most of our retirement, whatever form it may take, we need to treat it as a transition and deal with the three major stages of transition.
The 3-Stage Transition Model
Continuing to draw from Dr. Bridges’ work, I see three stages we must address as we transition from our full-on corporate career to this mixed bag called retirement.
An ending
This is where we need to let go of an old one before we pick up a new one. We can use this time to reflect and learn from our past.
We must be careful to not be overly influenced by the past; rather we use this time of reflection to prepare us as we begin to imagine the possibilities that await us on the other side of the messy middle.
The messy middle – a neutral zone
This is our ‘in the wilderness’ time, where we are searching for what to grab on to next. This can be unsettling, but it can also be the most exciting and rewarding time in our lives. This is where we begin to play with possibilities, to see what choices we can make to form our new beginning. The choice is important, but not necessarily ‘your final answer’.
A new beginning
If the messy middle is its typically messy self, we may want to schedule a calendar event ‘New Beginning’ and get on with it.
Transitions may not always behave that way.
The good news is that as you take action and launch into your new beginning, you have the opportunity to test, evaluate, and revise. What looked great in the neutral zone may not work out. No problem, you’ve already done your homework. Revise your trip plan and try another.
Introducing the Reflect-Imagine-Act (RIA) Model
I’m an avid reader. I explore various authors and topics to help me figure out problems I’m trying to solve or to just learn how people in different fields solve their problems. I pull out ideas I like and try them out and combine them in different ways. (Technically, this is called innovation.) I’ll occasionally share the works of authors that have had a significant impact on my thought processes and problem- solving approaches in case you want to investigate them on your own.
The RIA model is a result of my innovation process. Transitioning into the retirement/post-corporate environment is complex and has tripped up a lot of people. Heck, it messed with me for a while and I was aware of many of the landmines and was studying how to get a handle on them.
So, as I present this RIA model, I also encourage you to think critically to apply it and modify what needs for this to be as effective for you as possible.
The RIA Model
The goal of the RIA model is to equip you to create your best, most exciting, and meaningful retirement possible. The central thought is this:
Gary Wilkin
Define your future self, the self you want to become. Choose your future self’s purpose, commit to it, act on it, and allow it to transform your life: how you act, how you think, how you feel, and how you live your life!
As you begin to live as your future self, you will think and act and interact based on who you are becoming, not who you have been.
Dr. Benjamin Hardy’s book, ‘Personality Isn’t Permanent’ explores the process of choosing and acting on that choice to create this new you – your future self. It has been a great resource in my transition into my future self and has allowed me to help many professionals in their journey as well. I highly recommend it.
Let’s explore the components of the RIA Model.
REFLECT
Review what you have experienced and examine what it has taught you and where it may be holding you back. Challenge yourself to look at ‘negative’ memories and reframe them into something that was actually for your good.
For example, on August 4, 2001, I was laid off. The telecom company I was working for missed the tech bubble and failed to launch the promised IPO that was going to make us all ‘own your own island’ rich. A few weeks later, terrorists attacked the United States, and the tech economy I was a part of fell apart. I was out of meaningful work until August 2003. One perspective of that timeframe is ‘that sucked!’
Enter RIA. I reviewed that time and saw many that great things came from that time.
- First, I learned to reach out and call potential employers, often calling 5-7 times to get a polite ‘we’re not hiring’.
- Next, I learned to write persuasive emails and refined my ability to concisely communicate my skills.
- Then, I realized it wasn’t just about me. I started a men’s support group to help other breadwinners deal with un- and under-employment and help them stand up and be strong for their families.
Today, I can call and write to virtually anyone without the great consternation I felt back in 2001. I have kept in touch with many of the men from that group and continue to reach out to men and women that face various hardships. The layoff happened for me – not to me.
IMAGINE
This is the fun part! You begin to refresh those long-lost dreams and imagine what you want to do – what you want to become. You ditch the ‘discover your passion’ thinking and paste George Bernard Shaw’s quote on your bathroom mirror, your computer and anywhere else you can:
George Bernard Shaw
“Life isn’t about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself.”
This is the critical component of RIA. The act of creating, or choosing, your purpose forms the foundation of the process of becoming your future self. As you create a crystal clear vision of who you want to become, you are prepared for the next step, to begin to take action.
ACT
Taking action the RIA way requires 3 things:
- A crystal clear vision of what you want to become
- A well-defined path or process to get you there
- A rock-solid belief that you will take action and eventually reach your vision
These three elements ensure that the actions you take are effective.
Some actions will be one-time events, like buying a guitar or enrolling in a course.
Others will require a change in behavior, like practicing your guitar daily, or studying your course materials and applying them to your life.
I have found the work of BJ Fogg in his book ‘Tiny Habits’ to be incredibly helpful in this area. As we create our future selves, we need to behave differently. Much of our life is spent on ‘auto-pilot’, driven by habits we either unconsciously or consciously create.
To create your future self, you need to consciously create the identity and behaviors of that version of you. This takes focused effort, but the payoff is huge.
What Now?
How do you want to spend your retirement?
Will your retirement, or post-corporate life, or whatever name you assign to it be lived on purpose…with intentionality?
Or will it be an endless series of ad hoc happenstance rabbit trails like fixing up the house, taking a few quick trips, or playing golf until your clubs snap?
The choice is yours.
One Last Thing
Thank you for reading this Mission Log entry. If you haven’t already, I invite you to download my latest guide, ‘How To Create An Exciting and Meaningful Retirement in 3 Easy Steps‘. Please, do the Reflect-Imagine-Act exercise – I believe it will be very helpful as you explore this great time in our lives.
Also, if you feel you want to explore ramping up your efforts to create your future self and building an exciting future, I invite you to schedule a complimentary 30-minute ‘Explore Your Purpose Strategy Call.’ Click on any ‘Schedule A Chat With Gary’ button for more details and access to my calendar.
Live with purpose!
Gary